gaslighting does not always involve them calling you “crazy”
sometimes gaslighting is you protesting over and over, and them saying “you don’t have to make such a big deal out of it”
sometimes it’s “i really tried my best with you, but clearly i couldn’t do it”
sometimes it’s “i would never do that to you”, “if you really asked me to stop, wouldn’t i have stopped?”,
“i don’t know what i’d do if i ever hurt you”
“denying and rewriting your reality” is not a one-time conversation, either. it is a sneak attack, flying under the radar and taking you out, one communication at a time, never drawing all the attention at once.
it is not your fault that you never saw it coming.
My intrusive thoughts every time I have a sharp item or my meds: what if you killed your self or dug that into your skin. Take the whole bottle. Do it. You know you want to d-
Me: ok edgelord we get it now can we please just finish making this sandwich or taking this medication without any more interruptions
My thoughts five minutes later: ….so what if you killed-
Me: I’m just trying to make food and take the meds my body needs to not literally shut down ok shut up and let me do it, Edgy McEdgerson.
My brain, again, five minutes later: SO WHAT IF YOU-
